Coming Out: It's not your show.

I've really appreciated the care and thought put forth by my person when coming out and describing the experience of transitioning.  There are people that need basic definitions and a little hand-holding, there are folks that are let in on the deeper and more spiritual level of the journey, those that need no explanation at all...

With each new conversation comes new questions, new responses, new levels of understanding and it's proven to be quite empowering for my person.  Coming out is not a one-time event.  Coming out is a moment-to-moment decision as someone comes in contact with a group or individual that is not privy to their identification.  There's safety in being able to reveal your own story in the way that feels most productive and comfortable to you AND every person has the right to decided when or if they want to disclose at all.

I found a nice write up on the HRC website about coming out for trans folks.  Some things that I have found to be important when honoring your person's coming out process...

• Don't assume that they will want to tell someone that you believe should know
• Just because you feel comfortable telling someone and have trust in how they will receive information does not mean that your person will feel the same
• It's not your story to tell - be respectful of what information you share with others about your person's deeply personal process
• Have a discussion around how they want to be identified in different environments (for instance, using the preferred pronoun or their chosen name in certain environments may raise questions and put them at risk for being unintentionally outed)
• Think about why you want to share information about your person's trans identity - what are you trying to achieve by speaking about their experience with someone else?
• Respect your person.  Ask them how or if they would like to be outed.